The other woman.

In the life of an Indian man, it is women who lead. From the moment he is born, he is his ' mama's boy'. He is pampered and taught the lessons of life, cushioned from the viciousness of the world, protected from each person who doesn't get approved by his mother. This is till the time, his mother  decides that he is fit to get married.
Then his mother choses his wife and he marries her.Next, his mother decides when he must father a child & take on it's responsibilities.

And when this child is born, the cycle begins again.

And if I re-read the first paragraph a million times, the story of the Indian male will not change.

Then, how is it that today's wives expect their husbands to understand them. And to 'break-free' from the fixed thought processes that they hold and adapt a new, improved or different way of thinking?

If I represent today's modern woman characterized by financial independece, benchmarked education, insight and intellegence through experience and exposure to different situations, then, I can say that this mistake is classic.

Many marriages today end up in couples leading seperate lives under the same roof, or ending their marriage officially through a divorce. A popular reason for marriages to end is infidelity or the 'other woman'. The 'other woman' seeds, influences and defines the man's thought processes & actions.

Here, the 'other woman' can be defined as an overbearing mother, over bearing sisters or the woman with whom the man committed adultery by having a relationship while in a marriage.

Each woman needs to understand that her man already has 'another woman' in his life before he meets you. It could be his mother, his sister, or an ex-girlfriend. But, it is still another woman.
I do not excuse a man who can agree to a relationship with a woman but cannot end his relationship with this 'other woman'. It only leads to a stressful marriage/ relationship.

Men cannot commit to more than one woman at a time & if this woman is his mother, then he must end this emotional dependency. This does not mean he stops loving your mother! It just means the equation changes.

IF this other woman is his sister, then, he must also end the emotional dependancy. He must progress to respecting his sister in her own identity. This identity could be any of the roles that she plays in her own life- as a mother, as a wife or continue to respect her as his sister.

If this other woman is his ex-girlfriend, then he must have no contact with her in his present life. Any man selling his ex as his existing friend has not disconnected from the emotional dependency of the past. This can be disastrous in his current relationship.

And all women out there looking to build a committed relationship must assess her man's emotional dependencies before rushing into it. These ' other woman' can only take away pieces of your relationship and before you know it- you realise that you can never have a whole piece with your man.

And to all those 'other women' - if you love someone let them go. If they love you, they will return, else they were never yours to begin with!