Waterlilies

I've come at a wierd cross roads again and the most important thing that I know I should have is utmost faith and belief. But, is that what will work?
I don't claim to be strong anymore, actually am a silly weak-hearted person.... finally, I said it to the world.
In my own selfishness to strive for a better life, I may be asking for too many sacrifices from the other. It may not make sense right now to anyone but in the long run I know I deserve ALL.
It's a sinking feeling to know that I am being deprived of what is my right because the world does not percieve me to have such right....
I finally understand what prejudice is.
The ambiant force that hurdles problems at you, in the pretext of being protective about you.
How much can this last?
Does it mean that I will give in to the fate that is decided by others for me?
Does it mean that I do not even have the right to hope and dream of a better tomorrow?
Of a secure tomorrow?
I don't want to make others pay for what is my handicap... did I just call it that?
Is this what I will think of it- a handicap?